Preface

Preface

Welcome to Support Group in a Book.  It’s the book I wish I had been given along with my breast cancer diagnosis. I needed someone to talk with me openly about my options, my needs, my fears, my future. I needed to talk to someone who had been there. Support Group in a Book is designed to make you aware of options and to help you make decisions about your treatment and recovery. Support Group in a Book gives you the companionship of survivors to walk beside you. The book is about healing and the metamorphosis from feeling like a victim to knowing you are a survivor. It’s about learning the lessons cancer has to teach and moving forward better than before.

            My husband and I went on a weekend outing to a small town in Wyoming and made reservations at a random bed and breakfast. As we drove up the winding road to the top of the hill, we found four cabins sitting on the edge of a cliff overlooking a spectacular valley. At the end of the road was a new home. As we drove into the driveway, a couple in their late forties came out of the house to welcome us. They invited us to have lemonade on the deck and get acquainted. The woman, Sarah, had very short hair, much like mine, and there was something haunting in her eyes. We had a most congenial thirty minutes and found some commonalities. They suggested a place in town for dinner, gave us the key to our cabin, and told us that breakfast was at eight. As we were walking to the car I said, I think Sarah and I have more in common than she thinks.” Richard looked at me. “I think she’s had breast cancer,” I said.

            The next morning we arrived about five minutes early for breakfast. I wanted to talk to Sarah and find out if my premonition was correct. She greeted us warmly and after a few minutes of conversation I asked, “Have you always had short hair?” She told me her hair was thin and had no body. Short hair was just easier for her. “I guess I guessed wrong,” I thought as she showed us to our places at one of two tables. Sarah sat at one table with five guests, and her husband, Tom, sat with Richard and me and two other guests.

            The food was delicious and the Wyoming air invigorating. The conversation at our table was not memorable until I said to the husband, “I was surprised to see that such a small town has its own airport. He explained that it was used mainly by doctors with specialties who make their round of small towns by air when they are needed, “like when Sarah needed an oncologist.”  “Sarah had cancer?” I asked. “Do you mind if I ask what kind?” “Breast,” he said. “I’m a breast cancer….” I only got out part of survivor, when the chit-chat at the other table abruptly ceased.  Sarah stood up and said in almost an angry tone, “Tom, you know I don’t talk about it.” After an uncomfortable few minutes, conversation resumed.

            As breakfast was being cleaned up, I went to Sarah cautiously and apologized for bringing up the subject. I told her that I was an almost three year survivor and that I benefited for talking about my cancer to other survivors. She told me that she had never talked to anyone else who had had breast cancer. “In a small town like this…” she began. It was then I wanted to write this book for women in small towns who don’t have support groups, or Life after Breast Cancer seminars, or Race for the Cures races, or breast cancer survivors to talk to. Even with all the support in the world, which I feel I had, cancer is the loneliest of experiences.

            You've heard the story of the woman who planned a vacation to Paris, got on the plane, and ended up in Cairo. Now there is nothing wrong with vacationing in Cairo, it is just not what she had planned, and she had to make some adjustments. I had planned my life to continue just like it was, but somehow I got on the wrong plane and ended up with breast cancer. I’ve had to make some adjustments. Coming to grips with breast cancer has consumed most of the last two years of my life. It’s almost as though I’m a completely different person. Life Before Breast cancer (BBC) and life After Breast Cancer (ABC) are two roads diverging in a pink-ribbon wood. I will never be the same, and in almost every way, that’s a good thing.

            I thank my first oncologist, Dr. Elizabeth Prystas whose training and personality were a blessing to me. She helped me endure physically and emotionally to become a breast cancer survivor. When I told her I was writing this book, she volunteered to proofread the manuscript for medical correctness and general content. I thank her for all of the above. I also want to acknowledge my current oncologist, Dr. Saundra Buys, for her understanding and concern. When I had to change oncologists because of insurance, I had started having symptoms that made me think that the cancer was back. Dr. Buys sorted out the difficulty by treating not only my cancer concerns but also me as a whole person.

            This book is the result of the words I wrote in my journal as the days, horrible and not so bad, came and went. If you also got on the wrong plane and are experiencing breast cancer, this book is for you. If you are the husband, mother, sister, sister-in-law, friend, co-worker of a breast cancer victim and want to read this book to vicariously experience breast cancer and help your loved one reach the destination of Survival, thank you. It’s a frightening journey to take alone. I begin at the beginning.

Those are words I wrote about my breast cancer experience 1996-98. It is now 2016, and unexpectedly and unhappily, there is a sequel. I am again in breast cancer mode. I was fifty-two the first time and seventy-one the second time. On the pages that follow are my first- and second-time cancer experiences explaining what has changed, what has improved, and what has stayed the same from my nineteen-year perspective.